The Law and Ex Girlfriends
Those who know me, know that I am a lover, and not a fighter. I'm a peacekeeper by nature. I don't want to see my friends get into fights, and I certainly don't go out of my way to cause problems or attempt to hurt other people. This is my nature. I am capable of creating a comfortable, trusting environment very quickly when I meet people, and do my best to ensure that the trust given to me is never broken. I'm proud of my ability to do this. Even though I have I been burned by a lot of friends throughout my life, I still make an attempt to trust new people that I meet, even if that is a very difficult thing for me to do.
The problem with all of this is that people underestimate me once they have broken my trust or hurt me. That brings us to my most wonderful ex-girlfriend. For necessary reasons, I'll leave her nameless, because that really is not important. I was hanging out with some of her now ex-friends on Friday night and they informed me that she cheated on me numerous times early on in our relationship. I suspected she cheated on me towards the end, but never suspected that behavior in the beginning or the middle. Cheating is such a selfish behavior, and I always explain early on in my relationships that if the other person is going to behave like that, just call me before it happens and end the relationship... Plain and simple. I'll then walk away with no problems at all. However, to mislead me for an extended period of time, putting my health and safety at risk is inexcusable behavior. Although we have been broken up for some time now, I felt the need to make it known that this pissed me off, and that she should always think twice before she is going to knowingly hurt people. So... Friday night, I sent an email.
Stepping back just a little bit, my Ex has now become very involved in drugs. She has a 7 year old daughter, and is constantly high around her daughter. I have recently found out that she also gets high at work, and also acts as a middle level dealer. Someone in her position should be very careful with her treatment of other people, as there is a lot of information there that can cause her a lot of difficulties in life.
So, back to the email. I noted in the email that this pissed me off. I also believe I used the word "Slut" a couple of times, and then went on to note that Family Services had been informed of the environment that her child grows up in, and that I would be involving other agencies as I felt necessary, because her actions are nothing short of disgusting. A number of her friends also feel the same way I do, and are doing their part by informing the police and her work about her drug problems, so I am not alone in these feelings. Ultimately, the child is the one that we are concerned about, as she is unable to choose the lifestyle that she is living in. One could say I should leave well enough alone if I didn't want to deal with this kind of crap, but that child is absolutely wonderful, and I can not just sit by and watch while her selfish mother does her best to destroy her life.
Well, very early this morning, my Ex called a mutual friend stating that this email was being sent to a lawyer, and that she was going to sue me for slander, defamation of character and emotional distress. I got a call around 3am from this friend who was quite upset over this. For starters, I've taken a number of law classes at University. I know what I can do and what I can't do. Secondly, this particular email is neither slander, nor defamation of character. Slander is defamation of a person's reputation verbally in public (for example, if I got on the news and stated she was a slut). Libel is written public defamation of character (pay attention, as this was all defined in the Spiderman movie). This email is neither, because it was a private email to her... And only her. It is also not defamation of character, because I have not passed this on to anyone else... This is just me stating my opinion of her, to her. Thirdly... This is Canada. You can watch all the American BS television that you want, but our legal system is just not the same. In Canada, you just can't go around suing everyone under the sun who called you a slut. She called this mutual friend this afternoon, claiming that she was taking this email to the cops to press charges because I threatened to destroy her life. Well, the email also discusses her drug usage in there, along with the unhealthy environment she keeps her child in. She'll actually be doing me a favor by taking it down there, because the police will be involved at a later date anyways. Now, if by some crazy alignment of the stars she is actually able to press charges, I will get a phone call, and a "you shouldn't say things like that" talk to by a cop. Nothing More. I am also familiar with all of this, because I have had to press charges of assault against another ex-girlfriend because she smashed glasses and ashtrays over my head at a bar one night. If very little happened to her, then nothing will happen to me. On top of it all, if you look at my life, there is absolutely nothing that she can do to get back at me, apart from vandalizing my car. I honestly have nothing... other than fantastic friends who would never believe any negative thing that anyone said about me. My character is safe.
I do find this humorous... But also so sad because, I wasted time on a person like this. Truly one of those things I'm looking back on wondering why. At least I'll be able to just note this as a "what not to do" for the future, and try not to hold this part of my life against people in the future. However, there is honestly a reason why I remain single most of the time.
The problem with all of this is that people underestimate me once they have broken my trust or hurt me. That brings us to my most wonderful ex-girlfriend. For necessary reasons, I'll leave her nameless, because that really is not important. I was hanging out with some of her now ex-friends on Friday night and they informed me that she cheated on me numerous times early on in our relationship. I suspected she cheated on me towards the end, but never suspected that behavior in the beginning or the middle. Cheating is such a selfish behavior, and I always explain early on in my relationships that if the other person is going to behave like that, just call me before it happens and end the relationship... Plain and simple. I'll then walk away with no problems at all. However, to mislead me for an extended period of time, putting my health and safety at risk is inexcusable behavior. Although we have been broken up for some time now, I felt the need to make it known that this pissed me off, and that she should always think twice before she is going to knowingly hurt people. So... Friday night, I sent an email.
Stepping back just a little bit, my Ex has now become very involved in drugs. She has a 7 year old daughter, and is constantly high around her daughter. I have recently found out that she also gets high at work, and also acts as a middle level dealer. Someone in her position should be very careful with her treatment of other people, as there is a lot of information there that can cause her a lot of difficulties in life.
So, back to the email. I noted in the email that this pissed me off. I also believe I used the word "Slut" a couple of times, and then went on to note that Family Services had been informed of the environment that her child grows up in, and that I would be involving other agencies as I felt necessary, because her actions are nothing short of disgusting. A number of her friends also feel the same way I do, and are doing their part by informing the police and her work about her drug problems, so I am not alone in these feelings. Ultimately, the child is the one that we are concerned about, as she is unable to choose the lifestyle that she is living in. One could say I should leave well enough alone if I didn't want to deal with this kind of crap, but that child is absolutely wonderful, and I can not just sit by and watch while her selfish mother does her best to destroy her life.
Well, very early this morning, my Ex called a mutual friend stating that this email was being sent to a lawyer, and that she was going to sue me for slander, defamation of character and emotional distress. I got a call around 3am from this friend who was quite upset over this. For starters, I've taken a number of law classes at University. I know what I can do and what I can't do. Secondly, this particular email is neither slander, nor defamation of character. Slander is defamation of a person's reputation verbally in public (for example, if I got on the news and stated she was a slut). Libel is written public defamation of character (pay attention, as this was all defined in the Spiderman movie). This email is neither, because it was a private email to her... And only her. It is also not defamation of character, because I have not passed this on to anyone else... This is just me stating my opinion of her, to her. Thirdly... This is Canada. You can watch all the American BS television that you want, but our legal system is just not the same. In Canada, you just can't go around suing everyone under the sun who called you a slut. She called this mutual friend this afternoon, claiming that she was taking this email to the cops to press charges because I threatened to destroy her life. Well, the email also discusses her drug usage in there, along with the unhealthy environment she keeps her child in. She'll actually be doing me a favor by taking it down there, because the police will be involved at a later date anyways. Now, if by some crazy alignment of the stars she is actually able to press charges, I will get a phone call, and a "you shouldn't say things like that" talk to by a cop. Nothing More. I am also familiar with all of this, because I have had to press charges of assault against another ex-girlfriend because she smashed glasses and ashtrays over my head at a bar one night. If very little happened to her, then nothing will happen to me. On top of it all, if you look at my life, there is absolutely nothing that she can do to get back at me, apart from vandalizing my car. I honestly have nothing... other than fantastic friends who would never believe any negative thing that anyone said about me. My character is safe.
I do find this humorous... But also so sad because, I wasted time on a person like this. Truly one of those things I'm looking back on wondering why. At least I'll be able to just note this as a "what not to do" for the future, and try not to hold this part of my life against people in the future. However, there is honestly a reason why I remain single most of the time.
posted by Kelly at 7:29 PM
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